Dashboard Confessions: Approval & Acceptance

Back in January I began a series of posts called "Dashboard Confessions" in which I consider how the presence of appetite, anger, anxiety, and other affections function as warning lights on the dashboard of my soul, alerting me to my heart's propensity to try to run on any fuel but Jesus. When I sense one of these affections taking priority in my heart I remember Abba Poeman's wise words of warning: "Do not give your heart to that which does not satisfy your heart." When these lights start flashing, I can be sure that I have been giving my heart to something or someone other than the One who said, "Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy?" (Isaiah 55:2).

Two of those warning signals, a desperation for approval and acceptance, are closely related and easily confused for one another, so I must deal with them together. When I sense my heart searching for either approval of my performance or for acceptance of my person, then I know I am giving my heart to that which does not satisfy my heart. You see, like everyone else, I long to do something special and to be someone special. God created us in His image to be a community (be someone special) on mission (do something special)...a relationship of rulers who love and serve God, each other, and all that He has made (Genesis 1:26-29, 2:15, 18). So, there is a sense in which I was made to be approved for my performance and accepted as a person. The trouble starts when I seek that approval and acceptance from the wrong source (Jeremiah 2:13).

Have you noticed how Jesus never seemed to be concerned about whether people accepted Him or approved of what He was doing or not doing? His Teflon-like responses to the opinions of others were wonderfully refreshing. Neither criticism nor kudos stuck to Him. Oh, I long to be like Him. So, how did He do that? Perhaps it's because He heard and believed the words that His Father said to and about Him: "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased" (Matthew 3:17, 17:5; Mark 1:11, 9:7; Luke 3:22, 9:35). Just before the two most significant periods of His earthly life (His public ministry and His crucifixion/resurrection/ascension) Jesus heard His Father's words of acceptance and approval. "You are My Son, whom I love. You are accepted. I am pleased with You. You have my approval." All other forms of acceptance and approval pale in comparison to that of the Father. Oh, if only I could live like that. What would my life be like if I truly believed that I had the Father's complete acceptance and convincing approval? Maybe I'd be more like Jesus.

But I do have the Father's acceptance and approval. If by faith I am "in Christ" then I can hear the Father say to me "You are My beloved son, in whom I am well pleased because of Jesus." It all comes back to whether I believe it or not. When I get discouraged because someone is disappointed with my performance or disrespects me as a person, that's a light on the dashboard telling me that my heart under the hood is low on faith in the good news of the Gospel. When moments of praise and popularity lift my spirit and excite my soul more than the love of my Father, that's a warning signal that my heart is getting gummed up with its own glory. These flashing lights remind me that when people are too big in my heart, God is too small.

I'm reminded of one of my favorite Henri Nouwen quotes:

“The question is not: How many people take you seriously? How much are you going to accomplish? Can you show me some results? But: Are you in love with Jesus?”

But even as comforting as that thought is, it stills leaves my acceptance and approval dependent on my love for Jesus rather than on His love for me. Perhaps it's more accurate and gospel-centered to say:

“The question is not: How many people take you seriously? How much are you going to accomplish? Can you show me some results? But: Are you in Christ Jesus?”

Bible Overview Daily Readings

Would you like to get an overview of the whole Bible broken down into daily readings?

Each week on the Riverside website I'll post a new Reading Schedule on the front page with 7 daily readings from the Bible. Beginning June 1st we'll start with Genesis and continue with each book of the Bible in order until we finish Revelation. Our goal is to complete the survey by the start of Advent at the end of November.

Please remember that this is a survey. Our daily readings will only skim the surface of the treasures that are available in each book of the Bible. These readings are intended to give you a taste of the Story of God and His people. Hopefully they will whet your appetite for more. Please feel free to read more than the verses and chapters we've listed.

Be sure to check the Riverside website each week for the new Reading Schedule! While you're there, sign up to receive our Prayer Updates via email.

I Was A Teenage Elvis Impersonator

I have a confession to make. Don’t spread this around, but…I was a teenage Elvis impersonator.

It all started in fourth grade. My buddy, Tommy, and I decided to enter the fourth grade talent show. It was 1977, the year that Elvis (allegedly) died, so we wanted to pay him tribute. I sang “Hound Dog” while he ran around me on all fours barking like a dog! Now, that’s talent!

In fifth grade I moved to a new school and decided to enter the all-school talent show. This time it was serious. My mom slaved for hours over a sewing machine to tailor a white jumpsuit complete with rhinestones, high collar, and giant belt buckle. My dad squeezed half a tube of Brylcreem in my hair and combed it Elvis-style, ducktail and all. I took the stage and stole the hearts of fifth grade girls and their moms as I tossed them sweat-stained scarves from around my neck.

Seventh grade came along and I went to yet another new school. My older brother, Jeff, was already established in the small Christian school, so I became known as “Jeff’s little brother.” That wouldn’t do. Soon I made my Elvis debut at a Homecoming Banquet and basked in the applause as the homecoming queen planted a kiss on my cheek! I had made it! From then on I was known as “Little Elvis.”

I thought I had satisfied the two thirsts that every one of us has…the thirst to be someone special and to do something special. All of us were made with empty hearts that long to be loved (to be someone special to another person or people) and to make an impact on our world (to do something special that makes a difference). God gave Adam and Eve these thirsts, too, so that they would come to Him to satisfy their souls (see Genesis 1:27-28). But they satisfied themselves elsewhere…remember the tree? Since then, we too have forsaken the only Source of Satisfaction in order to dig our own broken cisterns (Jeremiah 2:13).

Jesus came and offered us complete satisfaction in His Spirit. “'If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.’ By this he meant the Spirit...” (John 7:38-39a). It is the Spirit of adoption who whispers deep into my heart that I am someone special to my Father (Romans 8:16), and that I am part of a family of thirsty people (1 Corinthians 12:13). It is the Spirit who gives me the power and the courage to do something special with the gifts He’s given me (1 Corinthians 12:4-11; 2 Timothy 1:7), and to use those gifts to make an impact in my world by giving others a taste of His love (Romans 5:5; Galatians 5:22).

I’m still tempted to dig broken cisterns today. Elvis doesn’t work for me anymore. These days I’m tempted to drink from my reputation as a pastor, my performance as a father, my own quest for comfort and pleasure, and other leaky places. Have you been dipping your heart in the wrong wells lately? Run back to the Spring of Living Waters! “Taste and see that the Lord is good…” (Psalm 34:8a).

“Do not give your heart to that which does not satisfy your heart.” (Abba Poeman)

Dashboard Confessions

A couple of years ago, on a trip to Landsdowne, VA, two different lights on the rental car dashboard flashed at different times. The first one looked completely foreign to me, and since there was no driver's manual in the glove compartment, I just ignored it and drove on. (I was relieved to find out that it was merely letting me know it needed an oil change!) Ignorance was bliss.

Later on, another light came on and even beeped at me warning that I was low on fuel. Since I knew what this warning light meant, I pulled over at the nearest gas station and filled up. In this case, knowledge was a blessing! But what if I had been ignorant about this light, too, and ignored it? It's important to know what the lights on our dashboards mean. Ignoring the wrong light could mean trouble.

All too often the ligts on the dashboard of my life are vying for my attention while I enjoy the blissful ignorance of my cruise control Christian life. The Spirit is trying to tell me that "something's wrong under the hood" as I'm on my journey to seek the face of God. But unless I prayerfully spend time in God's Word, reflecting on my heart in light of Jesus' glory and grace, I won't know what the warning lights are or what they mean.

Some of the lights on my dashboard include:

• Acquisitions
• Appetite
• Anxiety
• Anger
• Approval
• Acceptance
• Apathy
• Attention

In future posts, we'll consider how each of these warning signals may help us take a look under the hood and lead us to repent and believe the Good News afresh, resulting in greater love for God and love for others. I want a cruciform, not cruise control, life.

[I am grateful to the late Dave Busby for the "lights on the dashboard" metaphor. I believe he used it in his "Heart of the Matter" talks and book.]